The Balance IV
by bearhug562000
Summary: Buffy decides to ask Neil out on a date. Wackiness ensues. Meanwhile, Neil's dark side…Hey! Wait a minute! What's that evil you-know-what up to anyway?
1. Prologue

The Balance IV

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own the Buffy and Angel characters, but the other characters and the plot are mine.

Summary: Buffy decides to ask Neil out on a date. Wackiness ensues. Meanwhile, Neil's dark side…Hey! Wait a minute! What's that evil bitch up to anyway!

Special Note: This takes place a month after The Balance III. Things are more or less back to normal after the machine rampage. Normal for Sunnydale, that is.

Thunder rolled across the blood-red barren plain, almost flowing over the two figures present as they walked side by side.

Buffy stopped and looked up at the sky. It was the wackiest sky she had ever seen. It was almost…pulsating. The lightning seemed to be crackling around something there.

"Where am I?" Buffy asked the other person standing beside her. "I feel like I've suddenly walked into a Giger painting."

Neil looked at her and shrugged.

He suddenly grabbed her and they kissed.

Buffy certainly didn't mind, but then the kiss became too rough. The blonde Slayer struggled and finally managed to pull away, only to recoil in horror.

Neil's dark side was standing there in Neil's place, smirking.

"Oh, what's wrong, Elizabeth? No more kisses for Mommy?"

She stepped forward and backhanded Buffy across the face, sending her flying backwards about forty feet to crash in a heap and fall over the edge of a canyon that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. Buffy caught the edge just in time, preventing her from falling thousands of feet to her death.

Neil's dark side stood over her, smiling down at her, coldly amused by her predicament.

She placed a foot down on one of Buffy's hands, grinding down on it.

"Tell them Demona sends her regards." she sneered.

Suddenly there was a weird noise behind Demona. It sounded like…"eh?" Demona turned and looked behind her only to be sent hurtling over the edge herself. She let out a guttural, demonic, scream of rage and hunger.

Buffy shivered and started pulling herself up as the noise changed to "ep."

It came closer and closer.

Buffy suddenly shot upwards in bed, and then the telephone rang. She picked the receiver up hurriedly.

"Hello?"

"Booty call! Booty call! Call for booty! Call for booty!"

"Huh?"

She heard the unmistakable sound of Athena's and Faith's raucous laughter over the phone.

"Jeez! It's 4:00 in the morning! Don't you two sleep! Are you plastered or what?"

That only made them cackle harder.

Buffy slammed the phone down and grumbled something to herself, then hissed in pain.

Her left cheek was sore, really sore.

Where Demona had struck her in the dream.

"Slayer dream." Buffy whispered. "But they've never been that real before."

Creeped out, she lay back down in bed, staring at the ceiling.

"And what was making that goofy noise?"

Then the phone rang again.

(Insert Buffy Credits Here)


	2. Chapter 1

The phone rang loudly, shrieking into the night, until a slim hand finally reached out and grabbed it and pulled it under the covers.

"Hello?" said a sleepy female voice.

"Call for booty! Call for booty! More calls for your booty!"

"Huh?" said Dawn.

"Oops! Your booty is too young to be called for! Bye bye!"

Whoever it was hung up quickly.

"Weirdo." Dawn mumbled to herself.

She hung the phone up and placed it back on its table and hopped back into dreamland.

"Damn! She turned off her ringer didn't she?" Faith grumbled, annoyed as hell.

"Don't worry, we'll get her later. She'll have to turn it back on eventually." Athena grinned.

They started running around each other in happy circles, swatting at each other playfully before they tackled each other onto Faith's bed.

The next morning, Buffy walked downstairs in an extremely sour mood.

Stupid Faith and stupid Athena and their stupid prank calling. Don't they have anything better to do?

She shuffled into the kitchen and sat down at the counter and started eating some cereal, sans milk.

"Um, hello? That's mine!" Dawn complained.

Buffy just muttered something under her breath and continued shoving dry cereal into her mouth.

"Are you feeling alright this morning, honey?" Joyce asked curiously.

"Rrrrr." Buffy answered in a monotone.

They watched, dumbfounded, as she mechanically ate the cereal.

"Shouldn't you put some liquid in that Buffy?" Joyce asked.

Buffy took the orange juice carton and poured the juice into her cereal until it was near the top and then kept eating, setting the carton back down.

"I'm backing away now." Dawn announced.

She backed away until she bumped into the refrigerator, and then carefully made her way along the counter to the other cereal box.

Joyce just stared.

The phone rang.

Dawn and Joyce jumped a mile (if not more) when Buffy suddenly shot across the kitchen like a ravenous cheetah and snatched the receiver off the hook, tearing the phone off the wall.

"**WILL YOU QUIT CALLING FOR MY BOOTY**?" Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs into the receiver.

"Um, hi Buffy." came Willow's voice.

"Oh God! Will, I'm so sorry!"

"Uh…yeah. See you at school. Oh, and don't forget about that big history test! Bye!" Willow replied hurriedly and hung up.

"Big history test? That's today?" She dropped the receiver on the ground and whimpered her way back to her seat.

She sat back down and prepared to resume eating, then paused.

"Who put OJ in my cereal?"

"You know, Buffy." Joyce began carefully, "speaking of calling for booty, I got the weirdest phone call last night. The caller asked for my booty, and when I said "Pardon me?" she laughed and hung up. Do you know anyone who might make a call like that, Buffy?"

"Absolutely, positively, nobody I know!" Buffy shouted, making her mother and sister cringe, putting on her biggest, bestest, fakest, most frozen smile ever, her left eye twitching.

**I'm gonna kill 'em!**

Buffy walked down the hallway to her locker when she noticed Neil standing there.

"Hey. What's up?" Buffy asked as she reached him.

"Did you have any weird dreams involving me and you last night? Oh, and hi." Neil asked and greeted all in one sentence.

"Well, now that you mention it…" Buffy stopped when she noticed Neil staring at her curiously.

"What?" Buffy asked him softly.

"How did you get this bruise on your face?" Neil asked softly, touching the bruise on her left cheek gently.

Buffy hesitated to respond, enjoying the feel of Neil's fingers on her face.

Her eyes drifted shut for a second.

And immediately reopened them when Willow's voice sounded out: "Hi Buffy. Hi Neil."

Buffy stepped back from him quickly and began opening her locker, spinning her combination lock like crazy.

"Hey Willow. See you later Liz. We'll talk." Neil said and then walked away.

Buffy waited until Neil had turned and started walking away before she snuck a look at him. Willow watched her curiously.

Suddenly Willow started hopping up and down on her feet, her face looking like she had just swallowed a fish, her mouth a wide O, arms extended out to her sides and hands waving frantically.

Buffy observed her hopping up and down with a baffled look on her face.

"Maybe you better cut down on the sweets there, Will." Buffy said, bemused.

Willow pointed her finger at Buffy accusingly, shaking it violently.

"You like him! You like him! You like him!" Willow almost squealed.

"Who?" Buffy asked.

"Neil! You like Neil!"

"What? No I don't! Well, not like that, heh." Buffy chuckled nervously. She caught Willow's "I'm not buying it" look, and hurriedly began pulling books out of her locker.

"Don't lie to me, missy! You've totally got a thing for him! I saw you watching his booty!" Willow then flushed with embarrassment and put her hand over her mouth.

Buffy gave her an askance look.

"Please don't use that word." Buffy scolded.

"Sorry. But you are so busted! You like him and you didn't even tell me!" Willow said, hurt.

"Who does Buffy like?" Xander asked as he strolled up.

"A certain guy we know who hails from an alternate universe. She has Neil crushage." Willow tattled happily.

"Tattletale." Buffy grumbled.

"Neil? You like Neil? He's a handsome man, well not to me, but isn't he like a little old for you?" Xander asked.

Willow and Buffy both guffawed at him.

"Never mind. Does anybody else know?" Xander wondered.

"Neil's personalities probably do, they have eyes like hawks and ears like rabbits." Buffy replied.

"That's an interesting image." Xander mused.

"Oh and speaking of which, if you happen to bump into Athena, don't tell her or Faith where I am. Pretty please?"

"Why?" Willow asked.

"They're putting me through prank call hell."

"Our lips are sealed!" Xander declared heroically, thumping his chest.

Three hours later…

"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL SPILL! I'LL SPILL! SHE'S IN THE LIBRARY! SHE'S IN THE LIBRARY!" Xander screamed.

Athena and Faith smirked as they stopped pinching his nipples.

"That's a good boy." Athena purred.

Buffy was reading one of Giles' occult volumes when the phone rang. Giles walked down from the second floor and into his office to answer it.

"Yes, is Buffy there please?" asked an extremely fake male voice.

Giles stuck his head out of the office and said: "It's for you Buffy."

Buffy went into the office and took the phone from Giles and put it to her ear. Giles walked out and back up to the second floor.

"Yes?"

"This is a collect booty call. Will you accept the charges?" said Athena's voice.

"GRRRR!"

Giles was just re-emerging from the bookshelves and was startled to see his phone fly out of his office.

"Holy shit! That was fuckin' awesome!" Faith gushed. She and Athena high-fived as they ran down the sidewalk.

"Yep. It sure is great that I figured out how to manifest myself as something other than a vampire, or cool shit like this wouldn't have been possible."

"Why isn't everybody else runnin' around? Wait, you didn't tell em, did ya?"

"Nope!"

"You are so bad!"

"Oh, you say the sweetest things."

As they neared Faith's motel room, they were surprised to see Neil waiting for them.

"There you are. I knew you were out and about somewhere, Athena."

"Uh oh. Daddy's home. IIII'm iiiin ttttrouble." Athena drawled.

"Hey stud." Faith smirked, "Lookin' for a threesome?"

"Looking for a bit more than that, actually. A fourteensome."

"Huh?" Athena and Faith said together.

"Well, it turns out I can conjure up money, precious metals, and stones. Which inevitably adds up to a lot of capital, and I bought my own place. Nice and big, and I was thinking we have plenty of room for a permanent houseguest."

He gave Faith a meaningful look.

Faith stared at him in utter disbelief.

Athena just gaped.

"I-I don't know what to say."

"Please say yes."

"Just like that? No strings attached?"

"There is one."

Faith sighed knowingly.

"Does it involve lots of kinky sex?"

"Well, no. But it does involve getting your GED."

The dark Slayer looked at him like he had completely flipped his bird.

"Are you fuckin' crazy? I left school for a reason! I hated it! Plus, I'm stupid as shit! A major class fuck-up! A fuckin' waste! Killin' monsters is the only thing I'm good for!"

Athena snapped out of her trance and glared at her. Faith gulped.

"Don't ever say that again." Athena said in a low deadly voice.

"Athena." Neil reprimanded.

Athena shut up fast and looked away.

"You're not stupid, Faith. I don't know who told you that nonsense, but a stupid person couldn't have survived as well and as long as you have, especially with someone like Kakistos after them. And the rest of what you said about yourself is complete garbage. You can't be a Slayer for the rest of your life Faith. Sooner or later, you're going to want more. And a good education is your ticket there."

"Slayers don't last long." Faith stated flatly.

"They also tend to come back." Neil countered.

"You're serious about this." Faith said in a disbelieving tone. "Why do you care so damn much?"

"Neil cares about everyone. He's like a saint. It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done. I should know." Athena explained.

Faith's eyes started tearing up. She moved a hand across them.

Neil moved towards her and took one of her hands gently. Athena lovingly took the other.

"Let's get your things." Neil said softly.

Dazed by all this, Faith let them lead her into her motel room.

They packed her few possessions and left.

And closed the door on this chapter of her life forever.

As Athena, Neil, and Faith walked away, none of them noticed the ominous black van with the blacked-out windows sitting in the motel parking lot.

It waited until they were fairly well away before it started up and followed at a discreet distance.

Helen walked in promptly at 3:00 pm to see Buffy sitting at the table with a thick book in hand.

"Hi Buffy." Helen greeted.

Buffy ignored her.

"Still mad at me, huh?"

She still got the blistering silent treatment.

"I only did it for your own good, you know."

Buffy just pursed her lips.

Helen sighed and went over to her. She stood over her and put a muscular hand on her slim shoulder.

"This is getting a little silly Buffy."

Buffy looked up at her at last.

"Silly? You hit me from behind and claim it's for my own good? That's what's silly! My friends could have died because of you! And will Athena and Faith ever quit prank calling me?"

She slammed the book closed and pouted, folding her arms.

Helen just stared at her, perplexed.

"Athena and Faith are prank calling you?"

"I'm still not talking to you."

"I think you need to loosen up a bit."

Helen placed her hands on Buffy's trapezius muscles and started massaging them, working the tension out.

"Mmm. Don't do that." Buffy admonished.

Now it was Helen's turn to ignore her as her skilled fingers probed deep, forcing the girl's body to relax.

"God. That feels really good…" Buffy breathed.

She closed her eyes and relaxed, resting her head against Helen's hard stomach as the stress oozed out of her.

"Are we interrupting something?"

Buffy shot out of her chair, knocking it over, and Helen looked at the newcomers in annoyance.

"Oh look. It's Abbott and Costello." Buffy said snippily.

"Who?" Faith asked.

"Comedy team from the 40's. So, Helen and Buffy, are we having fun?" Athena explained and implied all at once. Helen rolled her brown eyes.

"Buffy's a little stressed out, it seems, Miss Attack of the Lesbian Undertones."

"Looks more like **overt**ones to me, little Helen."

"You know, just because we fuck each other occasionally, doesn't give you the right to start leering every time you see me."

Buffy's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

Faith made sort of a husky grunt and turned away.

"Oh, baby, don't be that way."

"I'm not your baby."

"You're just Neptune's baby?"

"Shush!"

Grinning at having successfully pushed Helen's buttons, Athena turned her attention to Buffy.

"You know Buffy; if you like getting massages from females, me and Faith could give you and Helen here one sometime soon."

"I'll bring the oil." Faith purred, looking over her shoulder with that cocky smirk of hers.

Buffy moved to the library cage, went inside, opened the weapons cabinet, took out a battle axe, came back out, and waved the axe at Athena and Faith.

"Want to see my Paul Bunyan impression? Scat."

Snickering, Athena and Faith turned around and walked back to the doors. Before walking through them, Athena turned back around.

"Ta-ta girls. Try not to do anyone we would do." Athena chuckled in a mischievous, mocking voice, giving Buffy and Helen a little wave.

"Try not to yell too loud B. It's a public building after all." Faith teased.

Buffy started making a few practice swings with her axe.

Her two tormentors ran out the swinging doors, giggling fiendishly.

"They've got lesbian on the brain." Helen remarked.

"Not to mention innuendos aplenty, like wheat in a field." Buffy replied.

Helen sat in the chair opposite Buffy's and picked up a book and started flipping through it.

"I mean," Buffy continued," I'm as straight as the day is long. They're trying to imply something from one little deep soothing massage?"

"Guess so."

"What do they think this is? A porn movie?"

"Athena thinks everything is a porn movie."

"Just because I might say "Wow, Willow, you look pretty today!" doesn't make me gay, does it?"

"Surely not."

Buffy whirled on Helen.

"You know, just because it felt really good, and it gave me a happy, and my nipples got a little pointy-"

"Want another one?"

"NO! DID NOTHING FOR ME! NO SIR!"

Buffy stomped her way back to her chair, set it back on its feet, and sat down, picking her book back up.

After a few minutes, she peered from her tome at the doors, then at Helen over the top of her hardback.

"Could I have another massage?" Buffy asked shyly.

Neil and the rest of his personalities (except Athena and Helen, of course, who was showing Buffy and Faith the joys of hot lesbian action. Okay, I'm lying.) filed out of the men's and women's locker rooms and made their way to the library.

Lilith and Diana paused and looked behind them for a few seconds down the hallway. Bellona and the others noticed.

"What is it?" Bellona asked, looming over the other two women.

"Not sure." Diana answered.

Lilith walked down the hall and looked around the corners carefully then came back.

"Anything?" Artemis asked.

Lilith shook her head.

"What are you sensing?" Neil asked.

"Perhaps nothing." Lilith answered.

"Let's get to the library." Apollo suggested.

They walked away, occasionally glancing behind them.

Reaching the library doors, they went inside.

None of them saw Neil's dark side looking through the windows on the library doors after they entered.

But she was sensed.

Lilith and Diana spun around quickly, and walked through the doors hurriedly, shoved them open, startling Xander, Cordelia, Willow, and Oz.

"Hey! Watch it!" Cordelia complained.

"Did you see anything odd out here?" Diana asked, ignoring Cordelia. Cordelia grumbled to herself.

"Not a thing." Willow answered.

"What odd thing should we be looking for? Big pink bunnies?" Xander joked.

Lilith and Diana gave him a withering look, and proceeded back inside.

"Everybody's a critic." Xander mumbled.

"Okay. Was anyone else a little creeped out and got that hair standing on end feeling?" Willow wondered.

"My hair's always standing on end. But I get what you mean." Oz replied.

They cast furtive gazes up and down the hall, then at each other.

And ran in the library as fast as they could.

After they went in, Neil's dark side's coldly beautiful face could be seen in the windows as the doors swung back and forth.

"What's happening?" Giles asked worriedly, rushing out of his office in response to the other Scoobies charging into the library, past the startled everyone else who were standing or sitting in various places around the library.

The other Scoobies didn't answer; they ran up the stairs and clustered together in the small area in front of the bookshelves, watching the doors nervously.

Cordelia suddenly gave Xander a look.

"Xander?" Cordelia said sweetly.

"Yes Cordy?"

"Take your hand off my butt. We're in public."

He quickly took away the offending hand and said: "Sorry. I needed comfort."

Giles just put his hands on his hips and glared ominously.

"You know, this is a library, not your home. You just can't charge in and out like a herd of wildebeests!"

"Sorry. But we got a little wigged out in the hallway." Willow explained.

Giles frowned.

"Why, may I ask, did you get "wigged"?"

"Diana and Lilith wondered if we saw anything out there." Oz explained.

"And they were pretty serious face and all, so we freaked a little." Xander finished.

"Plus, they nearly hit us with the doors." Cordelia griped.

"Waah." Hera mocked.

"Hey! Don't mock my girlfriend!" Xander yelled at Hera.

Hera raised an eyebrow at him.

"Only I get to do that." Xander said nervously, and hid behind Cordelia.

"If everyone's quite done?" Giles scolded. He turned to Diana and Lilith.

"I believe we're being pursued." Lilith answered before Giles could say anything.

"Followed? By who?"

This from Athena, who had just walked in with Faith.

"What she said." Buffy pointed at Athena. Buffy and Helen were still sitting at the table.

"I should think that was readily evident." Lilith said.

"Was this why you and Diana ran out the doors? You're still feeling that same premonition?" Ares asked.

Diana and Lilith nodded.

"Well, let's have a look-see, shall we?" Giles suggested.

"We better search the school from top to bottom, then." Buffy ordered, standing up.

"Yes sir! General Avon sir!" Athena mock-saluted with her left hand.

Faith and Xander attempted not to laugh.

"Daughter, behave." Diana chastised.

"Mommies are no fun." Athena griped in a silly childish voice.

"We're not meant to be. Now shoo."

Diana turned and marched Athena out the door with Artemis and Faith following closely.

"Do you think anybody would notice if I pushed her into the ocean? Let sea monsters eat her up?" Buffy asked sourly.

"Maybe we could use you as bait to lure them in first?" Hera said a bit too sweetly.

"Maybe we could check the school instead?" Neil hinted teasingly.

"Yes, let's. We can trade barbs some other time, I think." Giles agreed.

They went to the weapons closet and picked out various weapons, procuring a few extra.

Then everyone went out into the hallway and formed in front of the library doors, joining the waiting Athena, Faith, Diana, and Artemis, handing them weapons of their very own.

"Let's split up. We'll check the bottom floor and the basement." Bellona said.

"And we'll check upstairs." Giles said.

"Neil's in my group!" Buffy declared cheekily, and grabbed his hand, dragging him upstairs before he could say a word.

The Scoobies walked up after them, looking around cautiously.

"Think she'll give him a blowjob in a classroom somewhere?" Athena sniggered.

"Probably." Faith said, smirking.

Everyone else looked at each other, and then Artemis and Hera playfully swatted Athena and Faith on the butts to get them going.

Buffy, Neil, and the other Scoobies made their way warily down the hallway, stopping to check each classroom as they came to it.

"Well, this is a big waste of my time. I could be doing my nails or my hair or trying on that new pair of shoes I just bought." Cordelia thought out loud.

"Well, don't let us keep you from your incredibly important life." Xander said testily.

"Behave kids, or I'll turn this search party right around and head for home." Buffy mock-scolded.

"Diana and Lilith might be way off the mark here." Oz suggested.

"We haven't seen Neil's dark side for a long time now. We're all a little paranoid about what she might be doing." Willow said.

"A-And our searches for her and our observations of City Hall have all been fruitless, unsurprisingly. We even infiltrated the building and searched with no success." Giles put in.

"Not to mention asking Willy a zillion times. He's been transformed from Willy the Snitch to Willy the Bruise. And he always says, Nope, I haven't seen your friend's dark side. No big scary redhead, no ma'am." Xander added.

"Demona." Buffy said suddenly.

"What did you say Buffy?" Willow asked, surprised.

"That's Neil's dark side's name. Demona."

"How do you know that, Buffy?" Giles inquired.

"You did have the same dream I did." Neil commented.

Buffy looked at him, uneasy.

"Then you-"

"Yeah."

"Um, I think everyone else is getting a little lost." Willow said.

"I had a Slayer dream." Buffy explained.

"Sounds like you had one together." Cordelia observed.

"Isn't Demona one of the Gargoyles?" Xander asked.

"The bad one. Interesting name choice." Neil replied.

"Guess she likes catchy names." Buffy joked.

"What happened in this dream?" Giles asked Buffy and Neil.

"Well, we were in this weirdo place, like a huge plain and this pulsating sky with lightning moving around…something. Neil and I were walking together, and then he turned into Demona. She attacked me, sent me hurtling into this canyon. I barely caught the edge in time. She started grinding on my fingers when I heard this weird sound. All of a sudden, she went spiraling into the canyon. She screamed all the way down. I started pulling myself up and whatever was making the noise started making a different one, coming closer and closer. Then I woke up."

"I dreamed the same thing, except after I changed, it was like I was watching events unfold from a distance." Neil confirmed.

"Did you see what was making that silly sound?" Buffy asked him.

Neil shook his head.

"It was too dark. Then I woke up."

"Must have woken up the same time I did." Buffy realized.

"Incredible." Giles said, fascinated.

"Did she strike you on your left cheek? You have a ginormous bruise there." Willow asked.

"Good Lord. I can't believe I didn't see that before." Giles said in disbelief.

"Trippy." Oz said.

"Are you okay, Buff?" Xander worriedly asked.

"Oh yeah. She just has a hell of a backhand." Buffy assured Xander.

"I guess you becoming her must have something to do with whatever she did to you in the hospital." Willow said to Neil.

"Maybe." Neil said thoughtfully.

They were so engrossed in their conversation as they walked down the hall that none of them noticed Demona walk out of a classroom they had just checked and watched them leave with a strange smile on her face.

"Soon, my love. Soon." She whispered to herself as she studied Neil going around the corner with the others.

She faded from view.


	3. Chapter 2

Faith, Diana, Artemis, Bellona, Apollo, Zeus, Neptune, and Helen were waiting for Lilith, Taryn, Hera and Ares to come back from searching the basement. They were standing by the library doors, while Athena paced around impatiently.

"They're a little overdue." Helen remarked worriedly.

Bellona and Apollo were about to reply when the other four came around the corner.

"Also fruitless?" Neptune asked, ready to be unsurprised.

"Yes. Zip." Taryn answered.

"Did you see anything while guarding the library?" Bellona inquired of Apollo and Zeus.

They shook their heads.

"Maybe we scared the intruder(s) away." Helen speculated.

"Or there was no intruder(s) to begin with." Bellona replied.

Lilith and Diana looked up at her.

"I believe you had a bad feeling. But without evidence, that's all it was." Bellona said in her defense.

"She has a point." Artemis pointed out.

"I know. But I was very certain we were being watched." Diana said thoughtfully, looking up and down the hallway.

"So was I." Lilith agreed.

"Well, everybody fucks up sometimes, right?" Athena threw her two cents in.

Neil's other personalities stared at her.

"I know I'm sexy, but you don't have to stare at me." Athena kidded.

"How are you standing in the sunlight without burning up?" Helen asked in surprise.

Athena suddenly realized that in the process of moving around restlessly, she had stopped in front of a classroom whose door was open and the window blinds were pulled up, almost bathing her in sunlight. Sunlight which the rest of them had studiously avoided (except Faith of course.)

"Really strong sunscreen?" Faith supplied helpfully.

She received a barrage of askance looks.

"Or not." Faith said anxiously.

"Are you holding out on us again?" Artemis asked, annoyed.

Athena just grinned impishly with her most disarming smile and started inching down the corridor.

"Stop inching Athena. Why must you always do this?" Diana inquired.

"Sometimes I'm just naughty that way." Athena answered.

"You're going to get your ass kicked that way if you don't tell us how you pulled it off." Hera snarled at her.

"Welllll, it's like this…BYE!"

She took off at high speed with Hera and Artemis in hot pursuit.

The remainder looked at each other, and then looked at Faith. They suddenly smiled at the teenager beautifully.

"Uh oh." Faith whispered, nervously.

Attempting to beat a hasty retreat, Bellona caught her before she went three steps.

Lifting her by the seat of her pants, she turned Faith to face her and the rest of the group.

"So how did she do it again?" Bellona asked cheerfully.

Buffy, Neil, and the others walked back down the steps to see Bellona holding Faith up in the air.

"What are you doing?" Neil asked Bellona.

They all looked at Neil with suddenly guilty expressions, and Bellona put Faith back down on her feet.

"Athena has been holding out on us, and we were about to ask Faith how Athena manifested as something other than a vampire." Ares explained.

"Well, she basically just does it by manifesting herself as a half-demon." Neil said.

Everyone stared at him in incredulity.

"He asked her on the way over here." Faith put in.

"And I didn't get a chance to say anything with all the excitement." Neil finished.

"Well, that would be a big help. Not to mention, you know, liberating?" Willow said.

"I'll say. No more skulking around in the dark." Zeus commented.

"It'll definitely be nice to go to the beach and lay out in the sunlight with only a pair of Speedos on." Apollo said.

"So which color would you wear?" Cordelia asked Apollo.

Cordelia was regarded by varied sets of amused eyeballs.

"What? I could help pick out something that could go with his eyes! Get your damn minds out of the damn gutter! Jeez!" Cordelia snapped.

"Uh huh. Focus Cordy." Buffy said, fanning herself with her hand.

"That would be more convincing if you weren't fanning yourself, B." Faith chuckled.

"Shut up." Buffy grumbled. Cordelia snickered.

"Now that we've all had our nice little Speedo fantasy, and I find it difficult to say that with a straight face, we really should move on to more pressing matters." Giles commented.

"That's too bad, I was about to talk about the kind of string bikini I was going to wear." Helen teased with a coy smile.

The guys all stared at her, grunted, and then wandered off, walking kind of funny.

"Helen! No! Bad!" Buffy complained.

"I guess it's a good thing we didn't all mention our potential bikinis, huh?" Bellona joked.

"I might need some alone time now." Faith said.

"Oh god!" Willow groaned in disgust at Faith's comment.

Hera and Artemis picked that moment to come around the corner.

"Athena ran out into the yard and up a tree, and of course we can't follow…what happened to all the men?" Hera said and asked all at the same time.

"They needed to let their pants out." Buffy sighed.

"Come again?" Hera asked, baffled.

"Oh, forget it."

An hour later, (after everyone settled down, heh heh heh), everyone had settled into various positions around the library to hear the latest news. Buffy, Neil, and the Scoobies were sitting at the table with the exception of Giles, who was standing. Athena was leaning against the book cage, arms folded, and Faith was leaning against her. Apollo and Zeus were sitting at the top of the stairs, with Bellona sitting on the step beneath them. Neptune and Helen were sitting at the top of the other stairs, with Ares and Hera sitting a step below them and Lilith and Taryn sitting a step down from Ares and Hera. Diana and Artemis were leaning against the counter.

"Any luck with the Council?" Diana asked Giles.

"Yeah, what's the sitch?" Buffy asked pointedly.

"Well, after numerous fruitless discussions, they have promised to send one of their, and I quote: "best and brightest" to evaluate the situation further."

"Sending another Watcher? Boy, that's a big help, G-man." Xander remarked.

"Yes, well, they have reached a dead end in their research, as they never encountered or even heard of this situation before. So, they feel an unbiased eye would be best. And don't call me that, Xander."

"Unbiased? Who's more unbiased than us?" Willow said, taken aback.

"They feel we're all too close to the situation for an objective analysis." Giles explained.

"What about countermagic for her scrying ability?" Lilith inquired.

"They said they were going to wait until they hear the report of their evaluator before they start handing out spells all willy-nilly. Plus, they pointed out all the spells we have attempted to hide ourselves with have failed utterly and the sensing spells we used at Neil's hospital room and Buffy's house and on Neil himself have found nothing out of the ordinary."

"So, up the creek without a paddle." Apollo commented.

"Like a kitten up a tree." Zeus remarked.

"Like Worf without his bat'leh." Athena added.

"Okay, we get it. We're royally fucked." Bellona rumbled ominously from the stairs.

"So when is this representative supposed to show?" Helen asked.

"They couldn't give an exact time table, but very soon." Giles replied.

Giles made sort of a weird signal that implied: _I don't want to say, she might be watching._

Neil, his personalities, and Faith got the hint and nodded.

Buffy and the Slayerettes didn't of course.

"What's up with the weirdo gesture?" Xander asked Giles.

"Never mind, Xander." Giles said in annoyance, "Let's move on to the other subject of our meeting. Anything unusual happen on patrol?"

"Welllll…since you asked, it went something like this…"Athena started before anyone could say anything.

Athena, Faith, Buffy, and Helen walked proudly through the creepy cemetery, looking for big, nasty vampires to stake.

"Like, I'm so totally bored!" Buffy said with a vapid giggle.

"What kind of tree is that anyway?" Helen asked in her annoyingly overly inquisitive way, pointing at an oak tree.

"It's a magic elf tree." Athena answered in a bored tone.

"Why do they call it that? I don't get it." Helen wondered vapidly.

"Because magic elves live in it, you silly old goose, tee hee." Buffy said, giggling in her usual airhead manner.

Buffy was so busy laughing she tripped over a root and fell on her anorexic ass.

"Oh Buffy! Let me help you!" Helen cried. She reached down and picked Buffy up.

"Wow Helen, you're so strong!" Buffy gasped in delight.

"Really? Aw shucks." Helen smiled shyly.

"Oh baby, your smile is so sexy!" Buffy said huskily.

"Oh, Buffy I love you! Let us consummate our passion!" Helen screamed with lesbian lust.

"Please love me like only you can!" Buffy yelled in eager acceptance.

They fell to the ground in the throes of ecstasy, ripping each other's clothes off in a frenzied hurry.

Athena and Faith looked at each other, shrugged, and started humming fake porn music.

Xander magically materialized, whipped out a camcorder, and started filming.

"Hey wait a damn minute!" came Helen's irritated voice.

"Nothing like that happened, Athena! Quit making shit up!" Helen growled, waggling her finger.

"Yeah, you mean…tall person." Buffy finished lamely.

"Thou dost cut me to the quick." Athena gasped mockingly, putting her hand over her heart.

"Could we perhaps have an accurate recounting?" Giles asked tiredly, pulling off his spectacles slowly.

Everyone else was trying not to laugh, holding their hands over their mouths or trying to keep them shut.

"God, it's early." Ares commented, running a hand over his face.

"Athena really." Diana scolded, trying to keep a straight face.

"Alright, here's what **really** happened." Buffy said with a shit-eating grin.

Faith, Athena, Buffy, and Helen were walking around the graveyard when two anvils fell from the sky and beaned Faith and Athena on their fat heads, knocking them silly.

"Yes!" Helen yelled in excitement, pumping her fist in the air.

"No more stupid bad girls making stupid booty calls!" Buffy said in exaggerated relief.

They dunked Gatorade on each other and started celebrating.

"That didn't even make sense, B." Faith chuckled.

"It still sounded as lesbian as my much better bullshit. You still got each other very wet." Athena observed wryly.

"Oh Athena, shut up." Helen snapped at her.

"Do I have to throw one of Giles' very boring and heavy books at you?" Buffy snorted at Athena.

"I would rather you didn't." Giles said acidly.

"Anyway, nothing unusual happened on patrol, just staked a couple of vamps and that's it." Helen explained.

"You had more action than anybody else did then, babe." Hera announced.

"Things have been just a bit too quiet." Artemis thought aloud.

"It's almost as if the hell monsters are laying low, waiting for something." Ares said.

"I like things quiet. Quiet is good. If they're bailing for a while, I say good riddance." Willow stated.

"And on that note, I believe we can take a break." Giles said.

Nobody had any argument, and they walked out of the library as Giles went into his office and prepared some tea.

As everyone went their separate ways, Willow found herself dragged into an empty classroom by a very determined Buffy.

"Buffy, you're kinda breaking my wrist." Willow said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry! I just needed to talk to you." Buffy apologized, letting go of her.

"What's wrong, Buffy?"

"Nothing. I …" Buffy paused for a moment.

"What?"

"I…want to ask Neil out on a date, and I'm sorta nervous about it."

Willow's face lit up like the rising sun, and she did her happy clown face.

"Ooh! When are you going to ask him?"

"Tonight. I don't want to appear too eager, you know?" Buffy explained, squinting her left eye, "But I don't really know him that well, what he likes to do for fun. I need to find out this stuff first."

"Why don't you ask his personalities?"

"Well…"

"Oh come on. What could possibly go wrong?"

"What did you say that for?"

Willow obviously did jinx it because here were their responses:

Hera: "He likes to fuck. You do know how to do that right?"

Taryn: "…Strip Clubs…?"

Bellona: "He likes women who dance and grind against poles. He's a guy. Next stupid question."

Apollo: "Well, he gives a mean blowjob, but that probably wasn't helpful, was it?"

Artemis: "Turnoffs: women who dye their hair, hint hint."

Zeus: "Porn. Lots of porn."

Neptune: "Um, fellatio?"

Diana: "I don't want to seem cruel, but he's fairly…well-endowed, and you're not, if you catch my meaning."

Lilith: "He enjoys writing."

Buffy: "About what?"

Lilith: "Sex."

Ares: "Let me think. He does like to masturbate, a **LOT**…"

Helen: "Are you good at giving handjobs?"

Buffy: "Please tell me that was a joke."

Helen: "Of course it was."

A beat.

Helen: "You know I'm lying about the joke thing right?"

At one end of the hallway stood Buffy and Willow, at the other stood Athena and Faith.

They were all grinning at each other. Buffy turned slowly and whispered to Willow, smile frozen firmly in place.

"I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. To. Her. I. Need. To. Be. Avoidy. Of. Her. "

Willow turned slowly to Buffy and whispered back, iced grin and all.

"You. Don't. Have. A. Choice. She's. The. Last. One."

They turned reluctantly and advanced down the hallway, where Athena and Faith waited for them, with evil and cocky smirks.

"Looking for some action, B and Red?" Faith teased.

"You know, I think I'm in the mood for a redhead today." Athena mused, stroking her chin thoughtfully.

Willow started sputtering.

"That's not what we're looking for horndogs." Buffy snapped, "I need to ask Athena about something."

"I see." Athena put her arm around Buffy's shoulder in a sisterly way and guided her down the hall.

"Now tell Mommy all about it."

Buffy shot her a look. Athena just gave a patently false matronly smile.

"Fine. I want to ask Neil out on a date."

Faith and Willow watched Buffy and Athena walk down the corridor, and then Faith looked at Willow.

"You know, you're really fuckable when you sputter."

Willow really sputtered this time.

"You and Neil on a date? Oh my my my."

"Look, just tell me something about him, and don't mention sex or body parts, or I'll kick you really hard somewhere!"

"I'm terrified. Well Neil's a sensitive guy like Angel, and he's really private too, so proceed carefully, oh and he really likes cheeseburgers."

Buffy mulled this over.

"Good luck." Athena said, and walked back down the hallway to where Willow and Faith were.

"Hold on! Aren't you going to tell me anything else?" Buffy called after her.

"There is one thing." Athena called back, reaching Faith and putting her hugely muscular arm around her, and facing Buffy.

"What's that?" Buffy asked gullibly.

"He really enjoys it when people rip his clothes off."

Buffy's countenance transformed into a blood-red color, and she spun around and marched away mechanically.

Athena and Faith fell to the floor, howling with laughter.

"You two are so mean, you, you, poopheads!" Willow declared angrily.

"Poopheads? What are you, 5?" Faith asked Willow in amusement.

"So, Willow, where are Neil and Buffy going on their date?" Athena asked slyly.

"What makes you think I'll tell you? I'm not going to say a word."

Willow crossed her arms and turned her back to them defiantly.

"Oh, I think you'll talk." Athena threatened.

"Pffft!" Willow replied with her "Yeah, right!" expression.

"Because if ya don't, we're gonna tie you to a chair." Faith smirked.

Willow looked back over her shoulder and uncrossed her arms. She turned to them, her eyes widened and shaking her head back and forth, her mouth open.

"Y-you wouldn't."

Faith and Athena both let forth a diabolical cackle.

"Eep." Willow squeaked. She started running away as fast as she could.

"No one escapes us!" Athena screamed in a perfect imitation of Pinhead's voice from Hellraiser.

Faith took off after the frantic Willow like a wolf pursuing a helpless rabbit. Athena skipped after them, whistling a happy tune.

Neil was sitting at the library table reading a magazine when Buffy walked in. She noticed Neil and walked over to him and sat across from him.

"So whatcha doing?" she asked.

"Killing time reading this boring magazine, how about you?"

"Oh just killing. Time, I mean." Buffy amended quickly.

A minute passed. Buffy started drumming her fingers on the table.

Neil looked up at her.

"You're nervous about something."

"What? No, I'm the very picture of confidence." Buffy assured him, drumming her fingers faster.

Neil kept looking at her.

"You like movies?" Buffy suddenly asked.

"Sure."

"How about fast food? Like cheeseburgers? I hear Happy Burger makes a killer one."

"Really? Hmm. I am getting kind of starved."

"How about dancing? Who doesn't enjoy a good dance?"

"Well-"

"So what kind of music do you like? It's not country, is it?"

"Ugh. No."

Buffy paused for a moment.

"You don't really go to strip clubs, do you?" Buffy blurted out finally.

"Uh, not lately."

Neil cocked his head at her.

"I think I see what this is about."

"About? It's about nothing. I'm just **really **nosy. I stick my nose everywhere." Buffy frowned at that last sentence.

"That didn't come out right."

"You're asking me out on a date."

"A date? Oh, don't be silly!" Buffy took his hand in hers and patted it reassuringly. "A date. You are so funny…" Buffy chuckled nervously, and then babbled out, "Soyouwanttogoseeamovie?"

Neil just smiled at her.

"I'd love to."

Buffy was so busy trying to ask Neil out she didn't see Willow standing in front of the doors out in the corridor, looking at her pleadingly through the windows.

"Help." Willow peeped softly.

She looked behind her and suddenly took off. Faith ran past the doors a second later, hot on her heels.

The commotion made Buffy and Neil look up.

"What was that?" Buffy wondered.

"Don't know." Neil answered.

They went through the doors and into the hallway, looking around. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, they went back inside and sat back at the table.

A moment later, Athena skipped past the doors, humming away.

Giles emerged from his office, saw Neil and Buffy, and inquired:

"Who's humming?"

"How much longer do we have to watch?" One of the vampires in the van grumbled.

The other vampires shrugged.

"As long as necessary. We don't want to piss the Mayor or Trick off. Or especially that redhead. She gives me the freaking willies." Another of the vamps replied.

"Pfft. That overmuscled bitch doesn't scare m- gurggh!"

The remaining vampires scooted away in horror as one of Demona's enormous arms appeared from the shadows in the van and punched straight through the hapless cocky vampire, straight through his chest, and then he literally melted right off her arm, gurgling all the while, before finally collapsing into a loathsome puddle.

Demona's hand extended the index finger, and waggled it at them, as if to say, _uh uh uh. _

It then withdrew.

"Holy shit." One of them muttered.

"That's why I follow orders and keep my mouth shut." The vampire who had addressed the complainer earlier said.

He looked at the gooey remains in distaste.

"Could someone get a mop?"

Willow struggled against her bonds desperately as her captors circled her like ravenous sharks.

"I'll never tell! Never!" Willow yelled in defiance.

"Scream all you want, they'll never hear you here in the girl's locker room." Athena said.

"Oh. In that case, HELP!"

"If you don't tell us, Red, we'll really give ya somethin' to yell about." Faith threatened.

"I don't care what you do! You won't make me talk!"

"You know, I heard a rumor about you, Willow." Athena said in an almost conspiratorial tone.

"A rumor?" Willow said uncertainly.

"Oh yes. I heard you're very…ticklish."

Faith and Athena raised their hands and started waggling their fingers at their defenseless captive. Willow's resisting look changed to one of horror.

"No…not that! Please, anything but that!" Willow cried in terror.

"Gonna spill, Red?"

Willow appeared indecisive, before glaring at them.

"I-I don't care how much you tickle me, I-I won't talk!" Willow stammered.

Athena and Faith moved in, their fingers waggling faster and faster.

"NO! NOOOO!" Willow pleaded, "DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Diana sat at the steps, alone and forlorn, lost in thought, staring across the quad, watching the sunset.

Helen appeared at the top of the staircase, noticed Diana, and walked down the steps toward her.

Diana looked up at her and stood up to let her by, but Helen stopped in front of her.

"Are you okay?" Helen asked.

"I suppose."

Helen looked doubtful at her response.

"I'm not sure about this date." Diana said at last.

"Why?"

"I don't trust Elizabeth. She tends to be… irresponsible."

"True. But I think it's something else."

Diana gave Helen a sharp look.

"Meaning?"

"You still love him."

"Are you implying I'm jealous?"

"I'm definitely doing more than implying."

Diana looked at Helen for a moment, and then walked down the stairs and around a corner. Helen followed after her.

"I'm sorry Diana, I didn't mean to off-"

Diana paused and turned to her, cutting her off.

"It's all right. Perhaps I am. We did have a child together, and seeing him with another female…is difficult."

"I know. Nobody thinks Buffy is a good choice for him, but maybe we're wrong. This Buffy may not turn out like the Buffy from the TV show."

"Because of Neil's influence?"

"I would like to think all of our influences. None of them may turn out the way they did on the show."

"We'll see, I expect. I still can't shrug away this notion of being observed. Being followed. It's making me uneasy."

"And that's the other part, isn't it?"

Diana nodded.

"You still think it's …her?"

"Yes."

"Maybe we should search around some more?"

"Lets."

The two women proceeded through the quad, not noticing their onlooker.

"HAHAHAHA! PLEASE NO MORE! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!"

"You sure you're gonna talk?" Faith smirked.

"Yes! I will! I will!" Willow assured Faith in a breathless voice.

"Well, spill the beans, then." Athena said.

Willow hesitated.

The waggling Fingers of Doom came ever closer again.

"Okay! Okay! They're going to Happy Burger, the Bronze, and then Sunnydale Cinema! Jeez!"

"Thanks." Athena said. She and Faith turned and started walking off.

"Hey! Aren't you going to untie me?" Willow demanded.

"Nope!" Faith answered.

Athena stopped and turned around and said, "Now Faith, we should do something to show our appreciation."

Athena and Faith walked over to Willow and kissed the astonished girl on the lips and said: "Was it good for you?" in unison, and then left.

Willow considered her predicament, then leaned her head back on the chair, and said, "Great."

"At least they didn't spank me or something."

Willow then thought about what she said, blushed ferociously, and shut up.

As Buffy, Xander, and Cordelia were sitting at the table chattering, Neil and Giles having left to get a drink of water and obtain something from his car respectively, Oz ran into the library, cast a look around, and then asked, "Where's Willow?"

"I have no idea." Buffy replied, getting out of her chair.

"Where did you last see her?" Xander asked.

"She went off with Buffy." Oz answered back.

"The last time I saw her we were talking to- Oh great." Buffy groaned.

"What?" Cordelia asked.

"Athena and Faith."

Buffy ran out the swinging doors with Oz right behind her. Xander and Cordelia glanced at each other, shrugged, and then followed.

Giles and Ares were strolling back to the library when Buffy and the others bolted past them before they could say anything.

"Where are they off to in such a hurry?" Ares wondered.

"No telling." Giles responded. He called after her.

"Buffy? Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Can't talk Giles! Byeeee!"

Giles sighed.

"Young people."

Willow was still sitting in involuntary bondage when she heard the door open.

"Hello? Help!" Willow cried out.

The sound of footsteps came ever nearer and then Diana and Helen rounded the corner of a row of lockers and spotted her.

"Oh thank God! I half thought you were Athena and Faith." Willow sighed in relief.

"Were they the ones who tied you to a chair?" Helen asked in disbelief even as Diana moved to free the redhead.

"Yeah. They wanted to know where Neil and Buffy were going on their date tonight."

"Don't tell me, more pranks?" Helen grumbled.

"Yep."

Diana untied Willow and she stood up and sprinted away.

"Willow! What?" Helen asked in surprise.

"Need to pee! Thank you!" Willow called back.

Willow had almost reached the door when it opened and Buffy and company came in. She collided with them and they all fell to the floor. Helen and Diana appeared around the corner after hearing all the ruckus.

"Hi Willow! Could you get off my hair?" Cordelia said testily.

"We've been looking all over for you." Oz said.

"Sorry Cordy. I was being held captive and relentlessly tortured."

"Let me guess. Athena and Faith right?" Buffy asked.

"They tortured you?" Xander asked in astonishment.

"Yeah. And yeah. Tickle torture. Ugh."

Helen and Diana proceeded over and helped the teens up.

"I'm sorry Willow, for my daughter's behavior." Diana apologized.

"It's okay." Willow assured her. She looked at everyone.

"Can I go to the restroom now please?"

Everyone parted for her like the Red Sea and she headed for the bathroom as fast as she could.

"Why would they tie Willow up?" Oz wondered.

"They wanted to know where Buffy and Neil are going out on their big date." Helen responded.

"You and Neil are going out?" Xander frowned as he asked Buffy.

"Yep. Our maiden voyage. Why do they call it a maiden voyage anyway?" Buffy mused.

"A maiden is the same as a virgin. It applies to first times." Diana explained.

"Eew!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"You know this is the first time I've been in here." Xander commented, looking around.

"Alright. Out into the hall." Buffy announced.

Everybody went into the hall and Helen turned to Buffy.

"So what are you going to do about Athena and Faith?" Helen asked.

"I think it's time to give them a taste of their own medicine. And I've got a **VERY **big spoon**."**

Angel frowned as he listened from the men's locker room. Buffy and that Neil guy on a date?

This was no good at all.

Angel waited until they had gone back to the library, and then followed discretely from a distance.

Everyone had assembled back in the library for their assignments. Giles took the lead in assigning them as usual.

"As usual, Buffy, Faith, and Neil's personalities will patrol, though at least one should stay behind to guard, while Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, and Neil will help me research."

Everyone nodded, and Faith and Neil's personalities, minus Neptune and Helen who had chosen guard duty, started heading for the doors, when Buffy said to Giles, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course."

Buffy ushered Giles into his office and he closed his door and offered her a seat.

Buffy sat down and looked up at Giles.

"Giles, I can't patrol tonight."

Giles looked surprised.

"Why? What's the matter?" Giles inquired, sitting down as well.

"I'm, well, um, I'm going out on a date."

"A date? With who?"

"Neil."

"Neil's a nice chap, but he is a good deal older than you, wouldn't you think?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Forget I said that. Normally, I would say no, but since we have a virtual army on patrol now, and you'll be eighteen soon, so, go ahead."

Buffy jumped up and squealed happily. She hugged Giles' neck and then threw the door open, ran up to Neil, and dragged him out of his chair and away.

Giles shook his head, then grimaced and massaged his neck.

"I need an ice pack."


	4. Chapter 3

Joyce had just finished fixing supper when Buffy walked in.

"Hey Mom! Today's a great day isn't it?" Buffy said cheerfully, and kissed Joyce on the cheek. Joyce looked at her in surprise.

Dawn came in and Buffy gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Yuck! Now I have to wash my face! Sister Disease!" Dawn whined, wiping her face.

"Oh Dawnie! You are so silly!" Buffy chuckled, pinching Dawn's cheeks.

"Are you high or something? You've been spazzing out lately." Dawn asked.

"Just high on life." Buffy answered, and walked over to the fridge and opened the door.

Joyce and Dawn looked at each other, smiled knowingly, and said singsong:

"Someone has a daatttteeee!"

Buffy turned to them and smirked.

"Am I that obvious?"

Joyce and Dawn bobbed their heads in unison like oversized parrots.

"Who you going with?" Dawn asked.

"Neil." Buffy answered happily.

Joyce and Dawn gave each other another look.

"Isn't he a little-? "Joyce began.

"Yes, he's older than me! Can everyone hurry up and pole-vault over this fact?"

"Well, you did date He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, and he was way older than you. Is this a fetish for you or something?" Dawn asked.

"Dawn!" Joyce scolded, shocked.

"Have you been reading porn novels again?" Buffy teased.

"Only the ones I found in your closet." Dawn retaliated with a sickly sweet smile.

"I'm going back in the living room. Have fun on your date." Joyce said. She turned and marched out of the kitchen.

Joyce entered the living room and was surprised to find Neil sitting on the couch.

"Hi. Buffy is…doing something. I half thought you would be swinging by to pick her up."

"Well, actually, she picked me up, threw me over her shoulders, and carried me over here. That doesn't make me seem like a trophy wife, does it?"

Joyce gaped.

"I'm joking, Mrs. Summers, we just walked over here, Liz thought it would be a good idea, this being Sunnydale and all."

"Who?"

"Liz. Sorry, that's my new nickname for Buffy."

"Oh. Catchy."

Hmm. He does have good manners. Joyce thought.

Before anything else could be said, Buffy dashed out from the dining room and up the stairs, while Dawn ran out behind her and jumped on the couch beside Neil.

Dawn gave Neil a winning smile.

"So, why are you taking my skanky sister out?"

"Dawn!" Joyce yelled in exasperation.

Buffy hummed joyfully as she applied her make-up, looking in her bedroom mirror.

It was unsurprising, then, that she didn't see Angel, peering through her bedroom window.

Or hear him when he slipped and crashed to the ground.

Joyce was still scolding the unrepentant Dawn when they heard a thud and a loud curse. Joyce, Dawn, and Neil stood up and looked through the large living room window.

"What the hell was that?" Dawn wondered.

"I don't see anything." Joyce answered.

"Let me check." Neil said.

He went to the door and opened it carefully and scanned the front yard thoroughly before closing the door back.

"All clear?" Dawn asked him.

"Seemingly."

Buffy ran down the stairs and noticed everyone standing in front of the front door.

"What's up?" Buffy asked them.

"We thought we heard something outside." Neil explained.

Buffy walked outside and down the steps, made a circle of the property, pausing only to break a branch off a tree in the yard to use as a substitute stake, before returning to the anxious trio standing on the porch.

"Anything?" Neil asked Buffy.

"Nada. I'm beginning to wonder if Lilith and Diana are right about us being followed. First at the school, and now this."

"I would always give Lilith and Diana every benefit of the doubt, so if you still want to go out; we had better get somebody to stay here with Joyce and Dawn."

Buffy paused uncertainly.

"Go on out and have a good time, honey. We'll be fine. We were probably just imagining things." Joyce assured Buffy.

"All three of us?" Dawn commented doubtfully.

Buffy ignored Dawn and said: "Okay, but who are we gonna call?" She glared at Dawn. "No Ghostbusters jokes please."

Dawn started humming the Ghostbusters theme.

Neil suddenly pulled out a cell phone, to the others' astonishment.

"Where did you get tha- No wait, don't tell me, long story right?" Buffy said.

Neil gave her a yep gesture and started dialing.

A matter of minutes later, Diana and Artemis walked through the front doorway.

"Well, bye!" Buffy said, and dragged Neil out the door.

Diana and Artemis shook their heads at Buffy's enthusiasm.

"Kids." Artemis said.

"So, want to play Monopoly?" Dawn asked the two newcomers.

"I suck at Monopoly." Artemis said.

"Really? Great!" Dawn said happily. She grabbed Artemis's hand and dragged her into the dining room. Artemis turned her head and winked at Diana and Joyce. They smirked.

"Would you care for some tea?" Joyce asked Diana.

"I would love some."

Bellona, Hera, and Ares were walking through Restfield cemetery, bored all to pieces, when Ares spoke up out of the blue.

"This job becomes more and more uneventful."

"That's how you know you're doing a good job, hon." Hera teased.

Ares chuckled at that.

"She probably spent an hour getting ready." Bellona said suddenly.

"Probably." Hera agreed.

"No amount of those fucking useless cosmetics would improve her mug."

"No kidding. She's an ugly bitch."

"I can just see her: Oh, let me make myself pretty for you!" Bellona said in a high-pitched version of Buffy's voice, pretending to apply lipstick.

"Let me take you to a girly flick! Girly flicks. They're about as girly as a dead, rotting pig." Hera groused.

Hoo boy. Ares thought. The hens are clucking.

He started humming to himself as the two musclewomen chattered on.

The streets were alive with people, shopping, talking, drinking, and eating. As Buffy and Neil passed through the crowds, Neil stared around in interest.

"Simply amazing." Neil commented.

"What?"

"How people can live on the mouth of hell and still be willing to go out at night and be so carefree." Neil said quietly.

"Got to take happiness as it comes, I guess. Speaking of which," and with this she took Neil's big arm and curled her own slim ones around it protectively, "what do we do first?"

The happy couple was unaware of their shadowers.

Two bent on mischief.

One filled with jealously and concern.

And one…something darker.

"Aren't they the joyful duo?" Athena grumbled.

Faith looked up at her curiously.

"Hey, before we start giving 'em a hard time, how about some caffeine first?" Faith suggested, pointing at the open-air coffee shop.

"Mmmm…alright."

They walked into the shop, with Faith ordering a mocha and Athena ordering tea, and they sat down. Faith studied her girlfriend carefully over the rim of her cup.

"Bugs you, don't it?"

"What's that?"

"B and Neil goin' out."

"Yeah."

"Don't like her datin' your dad, and how the hell does that work anyway?"

Athena only beamed enigmatically.

"Don't tease me now big girl."

"It's complicated. You could argue that he isn't my dad, but since he is the main personality, and created me, I think I'm justified in calling him Father."

"That makes sense, sorta."

"I thought so."

"And Diana's your mom."

"Yep. Why, want to know all your potential relatives so we can get hitched?"

Faith almost choked on her overcaffeinated beverage.

Chuckling, Athena patted Faith on her slim back with her large hand until she stopped coughing.

"Jesus, girl, don't scare me like that!"

Buffy and Neil entered the Happy Burger establishment, got their orders, and sat down.

"So, Mr. Neil Church, you've been here for over a month, what do you think?" Buffy asked pointedly.

"I think I definitely like it here, good food, good company, and as for the monsters, they just add color. Except for the fact they slaughter people."

"I think that sums it up."

Buffy paused.

"Do you miss your universe? Your parents? Your friends?"

"I certainly don't miss my parents. Had no real friends, disliked my universe."

"Ouch. Gotcha. No missage."

"Sorry. My reality was just so pointless; I didn't like my mom or dad, or the rest of my two families. And friends were always nonexistent and untrustworthy, good ones are hard to find."

"I'm with you there. On the friends part. I've been lucky. Real lucky."

"I know. They're loyal and love you to death."

"Well, hopefully not literally." Buffy joked.

Neil chuckled.

"I did them wrong. Acted like an idiot, ran away, and then dropped back in and expected everything to be the same. And here I am going off on some weird tangent when you're answering my questions."

"I don't mind Liz. I know it helps to talk to someone."

Buffy smiled at him sadly.

"I used to be able to talk to Angel, but now…" Buffy sighed heavily.

"And you can't talk to Willow either. She's too close. Just like the others."

"See, you make this confiding thing too easy."

"That's me. All about making things easy."

Buffy looked at him thoughtfully.

"You sound like you had a rough life. That's why those personalities showed up, wasn't it? To make things easier?"

"Yeah. Neither family wanted me, no friends, so creating your own friends and family, essentially speaking, became the best solution. To most people, that probably sounds crazy, but it was the only thing that kept me sane for all those years."

"Neither family wanted you?" Buffy asked in disgusted anger.

Neil shook his head.

"That's a bunch of bullshit!" Buffy yelled, and then clamped her hand over her mouth when everyone started staring at her.

"Oops. My righteous outrage got a little too righteous for its own good." Buffy apologized, face flushed.

"That's all right." Neil assured her.

"I just can't believe all the relatives could be that callous. I mean, my dad is more and more of a no-show and all, but my other relatives write and call occasionally."

"Some people are just assholes, I suppose. "

"True, but you would think even asshole relatives wouldn't just abandon you, like _forever_."

"Apparently they can and will." Neil sighed heavily.

Buffy reached across the table and squeezed his hand sympathetically.

Xander walked around the corner of one of the bookshelves and nearly bumped into Helen who was carrying a stack of books in one hand and skimming one in her other.

"Oops. Sorry." Xander said sheepishly.

Helen looked up at him, smiled faintly, and walked around him.

As Helen moved around him, Xander allowed his eyes to drift downward.

While Xander gazed dreamily at Helen's ass, an all too familiar female voice rang out:

"Xander."

Xander jumped and faced Cordelia.

"What is it with you and superstrong blondes? Do I need to take super steroids and dye my hair to keep your interest?"

"What? She, well, has a nice one."

"I can hear you Xander." Helen's voice came from two rows down.

"I can hear you too." Neptune's voice came from the row on the other side.

Xander gulped and took the annoyed cheerleader out of the aisle and a few rows down where they could talk in privacy.

"Look, I'm with you Cordy, but I can still look. You look at other guys; you were watching Neptune for ten minutes tonight flexing his biceps."

"He was stretching, Xander."

Cordelia suddenly gave Xander a Cheshire Cat smile.

"Are you actually jealous, Xander Harris?"

"Are you, Cordelia Chase?"

Cordelia just kept smirking and walked away.

Xander mumbled something to himself.

"We can still hear youuuu!" Neptune's and Helen's voices came from further down.

"So which movie do you want to see?" Neil asked curiously.

"How about…" and Buffy showed him the title on the matinee.

Neil looked at her in amusement.

"Yeah, I know it's a big ol' girly picture, but a little girly is good for everyone I say, even a buff guy like you." Buffy said cheerfully.

"And here I already thought I was in touch with my feminine side."

"Well, here's your chance to fondle it some more."

Buffy paused.

"My foot seems eager to jump into my mouth tonight."

They paid for their tickets and proceeded into the theater.

"Which movie are they heading into?" Faith asked.

Athena rolled her pretty blue eyes and handed the binoculars to her girlfriend, who put them to her pretty brown eyes.

"I ain't gonna even act surprised."

On the other side of the street, Angel stared through his own set of binoculars and muttered to himself.

"They must be on a date." one of the vampires in the van commented.

"What was your first clue?" another vampire said sourly.

"Man, I love that movie they're going to see." yet one more vampire said brightly.

The other vampires looked at each other, then at him.

"You do actually own a penis, right?" the sour vampire asked.

Joyce walked into the dining room to find Dawn frowning and Artemis smirking.

"What's wrong, honey?" Joyce asked Dawn.

"I think I'm being hustled." Dawn grumbled.

Joyce looked at Artemis's huge pile of Monopoly money, and Dawn's comparatively tiny pile.

"She already owns nearly every property on the board."

Dawn and Joyce looked at Artemis, who had a completely innocent expression on her face.

"Keep trying, honey." Joyce said, patting Dawn on her shoulder affectionally.

Joyce left the room and Dawn scowled at Artemis, who just winked at her.

Walking into the living room, Joyce noticed Diana staring out the window, sipping at her tea.

"What's the matter?" Joyce asked Diana.

"My women's intuition is tingling."

"What?"

"Spider-Man reference, so to speak."

"Oh."

The two women were silent for a moment.

"You're worried about him aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I think Buffy can protect him."

"It's not Elizabeth's protection I'm worried about. There is simply too much that does not add up: The feeling of being watched and followed, the strong possibility you had an intruder here, and all when Neil was present. And Neil's dark side seems to have vanished from the face of the earth."

Joyce frowned in thought as Dawn and Artemis came in to hear the last of their conversation.

"Buffy said Neil's dark side was in his hospital room right?" Joyce asked.

"Right." Artemis confirmed.

Diana suddenly looked at Artemis.

"Shit." Artemis said.

Joyce looked at the two amazonian women in alarm.

"She's going for him tonight while he's out with Buffy, isn't she?" Dawn asked uneasily.

Diana took out her cell phone and began dialing.

"Out of the mouth of babes." Artemis replied.


	5. Chapter 4

Willow walked into the library with a can of soda in hand and saw Giles sitting at the table alone, lost in thought, his glasses dangling from one hand, as he rested that arm on the table.

She studied him for a moment, thinking, before she sat beside him. He didn't react to her.

"That must be some faculty meeting you're in, Giles."

Giles blinked and looked at her.

"Sorry. Just reflecting on various subjects."

"Like what?" Willow prompted gently.

"The feasible intruder we had this afternoon, Demona's disappearance, and the possible interloper at Buffy's home, her invading his hospital room-"

Suddenly, Giles's office phone rang loudly in the silence, making Willow and Giles jump. He rose to his feet, and crossed swiftly to his office.

Willow listened as Giles answered the phone, his tone changing from friendly to alarm very quickly.

Uh oh. Willow thought.

Giles slammed the phone down uncharacteristically hard and raced from his office, tweed in hand.

"Everyone come down here please!" Giles bellowed.

Xander, Cordelia, Oz, Neptune, and Helen charged down the stairs as fast as they could and faced the upset Watcher.

"What? What's going on Giles?" Willow asked, fretfully.

"Neil and Buffy are in trouble. I'll explain on the way."

All it took was "Neil and Buffy are in trouble." and everyone else raced out the doors leaving Giles struggling to keep up.

Lilith answered her phone and Diana didn't even need to fully explain before Lilith answered: "Yes, I came to the same conclusion. I have already called everyone else together…You have notified those at the library? Excellent. Then we need to wait no longer."

Lilith, Taryn, Bellona, Ares, Hera, Apollo, and Zeus morphed into bats and flew off.

Joyce pulled her car out of her driveway with a screech of tires and sped down the road with Diana, Artemis, and Dawn in tow.

Diana listened to her cell phone and lowered it in mounting concern.

"Nothing?" Joyce inquired worriedly.

"It says their phones are out of service, over and over." Diana replied.

That statement hung ominously in the air, taking a peculiar life of its own.

As Buffy and Neil proceeded down the sidewalk from the movie theater, Buffy kept peering behind her warily.

"What's wrong?" Neil asked pointedly.

"Maybe nothing. Let's duck into this alley for a minute."

They both calmly stepped into the alley and planted themselves against the wall. Buffy picked a bucket up, went to a hose spigot in the wall, and filled it up.

"Going to wash their car?" Neil teased.

"Funny. I think its Athena and Faith, and I'm about to give them a big surprise."

As they listened, the sound of approaching footsteps became evident. They seemed to pause for a moment, almost as if confused, before resuming their steady progress in their direction.

Buffy waited until she judged they were close enough, and then sprung her watery trap…

And came face to face with a very soggy and exasperated Angel.

"Is this your way of telling me to get out of town?" asked a bemused Angel.

"Angel?" Buffy exclaimed, mortified.

Neil walked out of the alley and looked on in bafflement.

Hysterical laughter broke out from across the street. All too familiar laughter.

Buffy looked across the road with annoyance and saw Faith and Athena literally rolling on the sidewalk holding their ribs, howling their laughter.

"She threw water all over that guy!" Faith howled.

Athena was cackling too hard to say anything.

Buffy suddenly gave Angel a suspicious look.

"Were you following me, Angel?"

The vampire suddenly looked nervous.

"Um, well, oh look at the time!" Angel said, looking frantically at his nonexistent watch.

"Ciao!"

And with that, Angel spun on his heels and fled, the ends of his trenchcoat trailing majestically behind him.

"Get back here, Angel!" Buffy yelled after him, hot on his heels, to a fresh torrent of laughter from her twin tormentors. Buffy noted this, stopped, ran back for her bucket, refilled it, and charged after her mockers.

Springing to their feet, they ran from Buffy, nimbly dodging her attempted showering.

"Faith and I already gave each other a shower, Buffy! Thanks but no thanks!" Athena yelled back at her.

"Your aim sucks, B!" Faith laughed.

"GRR! Booty call! Booty call! I'll booty call your asses!"

As the enraged blond Slayer pursued her dark counterpart and the raven-haired amazon around the corner, screaming threats, Neil just smiled and shook his handsome head as he watched the ridiculous events.

Which of course meant that he didn't see the black van until it was too late.

"B doesn't exactly run fast, does she?"

"What did you expect? She has stubby legs. Let's circle back around. I don't like leaving Neil alone too long in the middle of the night."

Faith nodded, but suddenly stopped and grimaced.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Somethin' jabbin' me in my side."

Faith reached into her pocket and pulled the offending object out and examined it curiously.

"What the fuck happened to my cell phone? It's burned all to shit!"

Athena looked at the destroyed device, and then pulled out her own. It was in the same condition.

She dropped it to the ground and started running. An incredulous Faith took off after her.

"Where are you goin'?"

"She's making a play for Neil! Come on!"

"How could you run out of gas?" One of the vampires yelled.

"Chill out." The refueling vampire said soothingly.

"Chill out? Chill out? One of the cardinal rules of kidnapping is that the kidnap vehicle always has a **FULL** gas tank!"

The other vampire rolled his eyes and turned away only to bump into Demona.

They swallowed hard.

"I propose you hasten for your sakes."

"Oh fuck me! That scary redhead is out there! They better hurry their asses!"

"Will you shut the fuck up?"

Neil listened to the vampires chatter. He had awakened only a minute earlier and was awaiting his chance for escape, playing possum as it were.

When the vamps were fully distracted by what was going on outside, he made his move.

Jumping to his feet, he lunged toward the van's rear doors and kicked them open, then sprang through them and landed feet-first on the parking lot.

"Hey!" One of the vampires yelled after him.

He got a step and a half before Demona appeared before him.

"Leaving without a parting fellatio? How boorish. "

She snatched him around the throat and lifted him into the air, then pulled him to the side so she could glare at the cowering undead.

"You didn't have him bound? Where does charming Richard unearth you demons? A special school?"

"Where the fuck is he?" Athena wondered, looking around.

Faith nudged Athena vigorously and pointed.

Athena took one look and raced toward the scene, her long and powerful legs pumping, leaving Faith in her dust.

"We got company." One of the vamps said.

Demona looked at him and the vampire pointed. She followed his pointing finger to where Athena and Faith were running towards them. She smiled a toothy grin.

"Too late, children, but come, come anyway, and perish."

A bolt of fiery energy formed around her hand, but just before she launched it, Neil kicked at her arm, throwing her aim off balance.

But that didn't prevent the fireball from impacting near Athena and Faith with a thundering detonation and send them hurtling into the air to smash through the gas station windows with a resounding crash. The horrified clerk fled through the back entrance.

Demona looked at Neil in displeasure.

But before she could do anything further, she sensed another set of approaching footsteps and turned to look.

Angel.

Demona gazed up at Neil and cocked her head at him.

"Becoming a bit teeming here for my taste, wouldn't you concur? Say adieu to Liam. Bye bye. Bye bye."

Demona waved at Angel and then she and Neil vanished.

The vampires hopped in their van and sped off without paying (what a surprise.)

Angel stared in disbelief.

He had seen many strange things after becoming a vampire, but he had never witnessed anyone just…_vanish_…like that.

Unfortunately, she had just _vanished_ with Buffy's date.

But why?

He couldn't even question the vampires in the van, because they had took off at high speed. He would never catch them.

"Damnit." Angel swore.

Then he heard a low moan from the battered gas station.

Angel hurried toward in the direction of the noise and found two unconscious raven-haired women lying on the floor surrounded by shattered glass.

The vampire knelt to inspect their wounds. The smaller woman, well a girl really, was sporting several minor but bad looking wounds.

The amazonian woman's injuries were more severe. She must have taken some of the brunt of the explosion which he had heard and which had brought him running.

He felt for their pulses.

The girl's was strong and steady.

The woman didn't have one.

Vampire. Angel realized.

He took a closer look at the woman.

I've seen her before. It's that crazy woman from a month ago, the one who baited away the possessed vehicles.

That means she's helping Buffy then, but who's the girl?

Angel then chided himself.

Here I am playing Twenty Questions and these people need help.

Angel looked around and spied a payphone in the corner. He rose and walked toward it quickly and jumped a mile when a strong hand fell on his shoulder.

Buffy waited and waited and finally gave up, resting the payphone in the cradle.

No one answered at the library or her home.

And Neil was gone.

She looked at Neil's burnt cell phone in her hand.

_The dream. _

_No. _

She ran down the sidewalk with every bit of speed she could muster.

Angel turned quickly to come face to face with the dark-haired girl.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked.

"Just a concerned passer-by. I was about to call an ambulance." Angel answered.

"Don't need no ambulance. I heal fast." The girl answered.

Angel stared at her curiously.

She must be the other Slayer Buffy told me about. What was her name… Faith. That was it.

Faith studied him with interest.

"Normally I don't mind…oh shit!"

She ran to the broken window and looked around crazily, then whirled on Angel.

"What happened to Neil?" She suddenly saw Athena lying there unmoving and ran to her.

Faith dropped to her knees and stared at her motionless girlfriend. She became very quiet.

And then flew into a rage. She got to her feet and started picking up shelves, throwing them around the store, and then smashed her fists into the walls repeatedly, cursing in berserk fury.

Angel went to her and attempted to restrain her, but she turned on him, beating on his chest with her fists.

He kept holding her until she finally calmed down, ignoring the pain from her attacks, and feeling his shirt wetting from her emerging tears.

Then he smelled an all too familiar smell.

Buffy.

Neil awoke to find himself chained to a wall in some sort of subterranean chamber. It strongly resembled a medieval dungeon, but without cells of any kind. It was brightly lit by numerous torches and candles scattered about. There was a musty odor in the air.

"So, this is the man in the flesh." said a cheery voice.

I know that voice all too well. Neil thought.

The Mayor and Mr. Trick stepped into his field of view.

"Hi there. I would shake hands with you, but you're a little chained up at the moment. God, I love the classics." The Mayor chuckled.

"So, tell me again how this guy helps us?" Mr. Trick asked.

Demona stepped out of the shadows.

"You will see." Demona said simply.

She looked at the Mayor pointedly.

"I believe it is time, sweet Richard."

"I think you're right." The Mayor replied. He looked at Neil with an amused eye.

"I don't know what she has in mind for you, but I imagine it can't be pleasant." He chuckled disagreeably.

"Goodbye."

And with that, Richard Wilkins the III went to a huge pentagram which seemed to manifest from nowhere. Mr. Trick went more slowly, watching Demona out of the corner of his eye. As the Mayor reached it and knelt down in the center, vampires emerged from the surrounding darkness and surrounded it to forestall any interference.

"After this is done, I'm going to take a nice long hot bath. This place must be full of all sorts of disgusting germs and vermin! Ugh!"

Neil watched Demona watch the ritual. She obviously must have felt his eyes upon her because she turned and gazed into his eyes.

"If they're dead, I'll kill you." Neil stated quietly.

Demona didn't reply.

"What's in this for you anyway? All you've done are things to benefit him." Neil asked directly.

"Have I?" Demona said mysteriously.

"You got all the things he needs for Ascension, and now he stands to gain ultimate power. So, yeah, you're doing all the work and he gets all the gains. It doesn't track. You don't exactly screech altruism."

Demona only smiled.

"What do you want, _**bitch**_?"

"You."

"Angel?" Buffy asked, disbelieving the scene before her eyes.

Before Angel could respond, Faith pushed herself away from him and stared at Buffy.

Buffy froze when she saw who Angel was comforting.

"Angel? The Angel? Angel who went psycho and tried to kill you and your friends last year Angel?"

"Hi." Angel said weakly.

Faith looked at him.

"I knew your body felt cold."

She glared at Buffy.

"You got some explaining to do, B. But right now we got more important things to do."

She went to Athena and lifted her gently in her arms in a cradle carry.

Buffy shook herself out of her daze and stared at Athena's limp body in mounting horror.

"What happened here?" she asked softly.

"That bitch happened. She had him. We tried to save him. If it hadn't been for Neil, we'd be dead."

"She's right Buffy. They both vanished into thin air. There was a van full of vampires too. They got away before I could reach them. That must be how she nabbed him."

Buffy digested this info, and a determined look came over her face, which made Faith and Angel take a step back.

She turned to Angel.

"Which way did the van go?"

While the ritual intensified to its climax, Demona glanced over her shoulder at the Mayor, then back at Neil.

"The die is cast, my love."

Then she swiftly turned to the Mayor and pointed.

Richard Wilkins suddenly tensed up, screamed in hellish agony, and exploded in a fountain of gore.

The massive magics involved in the ritual suddenly arced toward Demona and encircled her, crackling with malevolence.

Mr. Trick and the other vampires were stunned into disbelief, then anger.

"Kill the two-timing bitch!" Trick screamed.

The vampires snarled and charged.

But Demona laughed and sent out a wave of shadow that swept through all the vampires, Trick included, and they crumbled into dust.

Demona turned to her shaken captive.

She reached out a hand and trailed it down his chest, then ripped his shirt open.

"Going to rape me, are you? Seems kinda pedestrian."

Demona laughed loudly. It sounded like the screams of the damned to his ears.

"You could say that. I always loved your sense of humor. So biting, even as I despised you for your…goodness." She spat out the last word as though it was foul.

"For somebody who despises me, you sure like to cop a feel."

"My. So penetrating."

She suddenly rammed her hand into his chest, but there was no explosion of blood and organs, rather it seemed to be oozing into him, **absorbing ** **him**.

Neil shrieked in unrivaled pain, his body almost seeming to go into a seizure.

"Not as penetrating as this though."

At that moment, every single one of his personalities felt their connection to him snap.

Not long afterwards, Neptune and Helen walked into the library with defeated looks on their faces.

"Anything?" Oz asked.

They shook their heads.

"We have also journeyed in the land of zip, zilch, and zero." Xander commented tiredly.

"Giles," Willow said fearfully," you don't think…"

"I do." Giles said quietly.

"You would be right." came Athena's pained voice.

The others turned toward Athena, Diana, Joyce, Dawn, Artemis, and Faith, wanting to disbelieve.

Artemis supported Faith with an arm around her waist, while Faith and Diana were supporting Athena, her arms slung over their shoulders, who sported an extremely nasty burn on her ripped stomach along with several other burns of varying seriousness. Everyone ran forward to help her and Faith to a chair. Once they were sat down, the others clustered around them.

"You have a first-aid kit, Giles?" Neptune asked.

"Indeed I do." Giles answered. He ran into his office to acquire it and brought it to them. Diana and the others took it and they all fussed over their battered compatriots. Even though Athena had the most serious wounds; Faith had several nasty cuts and bruises.

"Then you felt it too?" Helen asked Athena while she tended to one of her burns.

"Yeah. But I didn't need that to figure out she got him. Faith and I saw it and tried to stop her. She kicked our asses."

"Why didn't you try to call?" Cordelia asked.

Cordelia immediately received a full-scale attack of the sideways look.

"How hard is it to push a few buttons?" Cordelia asked defensively.

"Felt what, Helen?" Willow asked.

"The connection." Lilith replied, as she and the other personalities entered.

"It's gone, isn't it? Because of whatever Demona did." Giles reasoned.

Neil's personalities nodded grimly.

"And Neil's gone without a trace." Buffy said, frustration and anger coloring her tone, picking that exact moment to make her own entrance.

"She's got him." Faith said hollowly, running her hands over her hurting face. Artemis gently brushed her hands aside and began putting antiseptic on her cuts. Faith's tone made the whole situation somehow more real, to really drive it home.

Neil was gone.

"Oh shit!" Willow yelled, stamping her tiny foot.

Everyone just stared at her like she had just said she liked to shoot squirrels for laughs and then use their decapitated heads for putting practice.

"What? You cuss, I can cuss too." Willow said, folding her arms with an air of finality.

She suddenly turned to Buffy, Xander, and Giles.

"Can't I cuss too?" Willow asked angsting to the extreme.

The three of them just regarded her with dumbfounded looks.

Buffy suddenly whirled on the seated Faith and Athena.

"This is all your fault." Buffy hissed.

Faith looked up and stared Buffy in the eyes. Athena didn't even seem to hear her, staring off into space.

"If you hadn't been pulling those stupid pranks, none of this would have happened!" Buffy screamed.

Faith said nothing, just kept staring.

"I oughta kick your and your skanky girlfriend's ass right now, you damn whore!"

"Elizabeth Anne Summers!" Joyce yelled, shocked at her daughter's behavior. Buffy ignored her.

"Buffy." Helen said quietly.

Buffy glared at her.

"You want some too?"

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?" Helen said calmly.

"What?"

"She said: Shut the fuck up." Cordelia said.

Buffy stared at Cordelia.

"What? You going to beat me up too? You think sporting a ginormous tude' and threatening to kick the shit out of everybody will solve anything? Oh please! It won't. The situation will be the same, only they'll be more of us injured and pissed off. Now sit down and shut up."

Buffy snorted.

"You can't tell me what to do, you va-"

Faith suddenly lunged from her chair and slugged Buffy across the jaw, sending her to the floor. Buffy jumped to her feet and started toward Faith only to be interrupted by a tide of people who pulled them away from each other.

"I'm going to kick your ass Faith-"

"You fucking bitch-"

"Buffy." Athena said coldly.

Everyone froze. Diana glowered at her daughter warningly.

Athena turned her head and her eyes bored into Buffy's.

"You ever say anything like that again and I'll kill you."

She rose from her chair and limped up the stairs, hobbling into the next room and out of sight behind the book shelves. Diana stepped away from Faith and followed Athena up the stairs.

"It's only one person's fault, Buffy." Helen said her voice full of quiet fury. The sound of a loud argument could be heard suddenly breaking out upstairs.

"But-"Buffy began.

"Be silent." Lilith said, frigidly.

"Hey, you can't-"Willow started, timidly, but daringly.

"We can't do this." Xander said abruptly.

"Xander." Buffy said slowly, "you can't be taking their side-"

"There are only two sides, Buff. Hers and ours. No others exist."

"I-"

Without warning, Buffy sagged in their arms. She suddenly looked very old.

"I think I'm in love with him." Buffy whispered.

"Pardon me?" Artemis asked.

"I love him." Buffy proclaimed.

"Whooptey friggin' do! Well guess what, B? I love him too!" Faith shouted at her.

Buffy looked at her.

"He's been like a dad to me! He's the nicest guy I ever met! You think you have a monopoly on lovin' the guy?"

The blonde Slayer looked away.

"Let go of me." Faith told those who were holding her. They released her and stepped back.

"We're not the ones who kidnapped him! Me and Athena nearly died tryin' to save him, remember? So don't blame us for shit!"

Faith turned away and stomped up the stairs after her girlfriend.

"You okay now?" Helen asked Buffy pointedly.

Buffy straightened up and answered: "I don't think I can answer that with a yes or no."

They unhanded her and she sank into a chair.

"Buffy, when this is all over, you're going to apologize to Athena and Faith. I raised you better than that. They didn't take Neil, that horrible woman did."

"I always knew you were a dork, but I never thought you could be such a bitch!" Dawn commented sourly.

"Dawn Summers!"

"Sorry, Mom." Dawn squeaked.

"Is everybody mad at me?" Buffy sighed heavily.

"Could be." Taryn replied.

"That was a little out of line Buffy." Willow admonished her.

"You're going to defend the people who tied you to a chair Will?" Buffy asked, unenthusiastically.

"I guess so." Willow said, now appearing a little uncertain of her position.

Giles knelt before the troubled blonde Slayer and took her limp hand into his.

"We'll find him Buffy." Giles assured her.

"Don't worry about it kid. Demona's cocky, she'll make a mistake and we'll be there when she does." Apollo added his two cents in.

Giles looked up at Apollo and smiled gratefully.

"Corny." Bellona elbowed Apollo.

"Let's see you come up with something on such short notice." Apollo said defensively.

"We better hurry. No telling what she might do." Zeus said cogently.

"I know." Giles agreed.

"We'll save him from her Buffy." Willow said, putting her hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"And who are saving, if I may ask? And from whom?"

Everyone turned to the new voice. The dignified looking man standing in front of the doors, briefcase in hand, fidgeted under the attention. He adjusted his glasses.

"Wesley Whyndam-Pryce, at your service."

Suddenly, there was a soft but very audible ripping sound.

All over the cursed town, the mysterious crystals revealed their true purpose.

The moon hid its face.

"What the hell was that?" Ares exclaimed.

Bellona suddenly stared at something over Wesley's shoulder.

"You might want to get away from the doors, Mr. Pryce." Bellona advised gravely.

"Um, why?" Wesley asked.

Bellona pointed and everybody's eyes followed her finger.

And proceeded to widen.

Wesley let out a yelp and ran behind the rest of the gang, cowering behind Bellona and Apollo.

The sources of their consternation burst through the doors.


	6. Epilogue

Demona materialized onto the roof of City Hall and gazed out over the rapidly besieged city.

Screams and shots overflowed the air in an intensifying crescendo, an inexhaustible cacophony.

"Such an exquisite reverberation..."

**To be continued**…

(Roll End Credits Here)


End file.
